why sharing isn't caring

OPINION

By Georgia Maher

13/06/2014

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You know the saying: “At a dinner party, the three things you should never talk about are politics, religion

and masturbation?” Yeah, well that's what it should be, because from a lady to a gent here’s a piece of

advise: keep it to yourself. Literally.

Man, I feel like a woman.

What is it with men and sharing their intimate experiences with the world around them? It's as if sharing

is a form of courting, or a bid to peacock about, or an effort to prove masculinity. Showing you're a sexual

being doesn't need to involve vocalising your intimacy. Women aren't as visual as men, they don't need to

be told because some things are best left to the imagination. And depending on your level of crassness or

ability to make masturbation sound sexy, imagination may work favorably to you.

What ever happens with Jolly Rodger, your old footy sock, vasso, and your right hand, it's not on a needs

toknow basis. Women aren’t judging you because you’re not talking about it, they’re judging you because

you are. You will not lose masculinity points by keeping that chat reserved for the boys locker room. What

happens in there, stays in there.

You have a complex yet loving relationship, with a relatively simple counter part who knows your sweet spot, we get the picture. And that picture is not something you need to help other women visualise.

Common baby light my fire.

Any talk of masturbation, or your member, ignites nothing but a vulgar feeling within. You can not turn a woman on, by telling her how you turn yourself on.

When guys care to share (thanks for the kind thought but please refrain), it usually comes along with an anecdote about the mint babe with an ass like Kim Kardashian that they spilt their load over on RedTube, or the quickie they rubbed out in the toilet before a date, or as a form of ‘probastination’ on a Sunday night. And just because Snapchat forgets after 10 seconds, doesn’t mean your lady friend will. So refrain from sending that cheeky pic, it will not win you any Brownie Points.

No man but ancient Egyptian God Atum, can get away with cleaning his pipes and be praised for it. That is, unless you too can create the natural landscape of the ancient world and produce deities by sprinkling your spunk everywhere. Yes, I think not gentlemen. No matter the wanking weather, it’s not a turn on.

Ladies doing it for themselves

The publicity of female masturbation can be viewed as a fad or a feminist movement. Regardless of how much punk band, Pussy Riot, preach feminism and masturbation, the average women isn’t going to echo aloud how they parted the petals. For women, it’s a personal, intimate and sensual experience. Yes we do it, no we don’t care to share it.

The Great Sex Consensus for 2013/2014 has revealed that compared to 72% of gents, only 49% of ladies reach a better Big ‘O’ during sex as opposed to masturbation. That’s probably why more than half of the women surveyed, say they masturbate every second day to once a week.

If a woman can reach the goal posts in a more efficient manner on her  own, then she will probably do so. But women are gracious creatures in orgasm victory, as unlike their male counterpart, they do not boast about their winnings.

 

 

 

It's a solo game for a reason gentlemen. And if we wanted to play too, we’d do so. Funny that, isn't that the game called Foreplay?

So before you bring Richard up as a topic of conversation over dinner next week, know that if we really wanted to know about him, we would’ve had Richard for dinner ourselves. Literally.