virtual dating, a disaster in the making

OPINION

By Alexander Logan

1/06/2014

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Lauren Urasek, a household name for single men in New York,

was recently dubbed most messaged female for an online dating

site. Unsurprisingly, the queen of online dating concedes that

attention from 1000 men is the same as having the attention of

only one significant man.

 

From the images published online, I’d thrown Urasek into the

lengthy pile on the left of my tinder page. Maybe her passion for

sipping whiskey could’ve been the key to unlocking our love.

 

Unfortunately, that path to romance vanished before I could blink.

 

Online dating is driven by physical attraction. It’s all about the look

of the person first, and the ‘other stuff’ second. Yet, in reality we

are much more willing to date someone who is not in amazing shape

because they have all the ‘other stuff.’ All that’s available to people in the online dating context is looks. So when we date online we over-prioritizing appearance, emphasizing the traits that people are more interested in for casual sex.

 

Sifting through numerous matches and messages each day will barely get you anywhere. The infamous Ms Urasek receives an average of 35 messages a day but has only been on 10 dates in the past few months. This highlights an ominous future for hopeful singles, like myself.

 

Thus, we feel the need to be in amazing shape to spark the interest of the opposite sex online. We’re vigorously competing on this particular dimension, constantly trying to step up our game, going to the gym, and talking about the fact that we go to the gym. It’s pushing people into an obsessive health consciousness.

 

There’s a failing return at some point – you become less appealing if you’re fanatical about working out. If you train multiple times a day, or you’re on an incredibly strict diet, I’m concerned about your mental health. The work you’re putting into your body is a part of your subconscious behavior and personality. You’re chasing perfection; but unfortunately that’s not the way the human body is designed.

 

Consequently, online dating is making us shallow, because it’s all about the superficial. How big our muscles are, or how big her breasts are. Essentially, if you don’t have the look, you don’t stand a chance.

 

So if we have the right look, do we have the chat? After a seemingly never-ending battle with our looks, we now are faced with scripting the all-important first line. Breaking the ice. Some are experts at it, and nail it every time. Others think way too much of it and end up blurting out a cheesy pick up line, or some inappropriate jargon. These crude remarks always followed up with an apology – in the false hope your companion will see humor to it all.

 

An exposing blog from Ms Urasek revealed embarrassing attempts of some men to catch her attention. One-liners ranged from sleazy compliments to the outright offensive. These attempts by men are aimed at facilitating a kind of a quick dating style. If successful, you get to the bedroom fast, evidently a primary theme that both sexes care about when it comes to online dating. But at what price are you paying to lower your dignity and self-respect?

 

The complex environment of online dating has proven to allow some ‘ugly ducklings’ like Urasek to soar into stardom, whilst dangerously dumping the majority of us into a large pit of loneliness. And with a quick fix of sex occasionally?

 

The online dating scene is here to stay, and it’s a scene that I’m happy to avoid. Best of luck to Queen Urasek and her reign over the online dating game.